As you navigate life there are certain points or milestones that we celebrate. Birthdays, Anniversaries, Wedding, Engagements, Graduations even Funerals. When you find out you have Cancer it changes to some extent the meanings of these. The flip side of that coin are the new milestones you get to celebrate.
For an update on me and where I am at. The past two weeks have gone by well. I am feeling like my old self again for the most part. I am back to my pre-chemo weight, not super excited about that, but it is important. Being about 10 pounds lighter was nice and so I am more motivated to get back to that weight the right and healthy way. My hearing is still crap, I went to the doctor about it. The hearing test is normal, meaning my ears work just fine. The challenge apparently is my brain's ability to translate those signals. This is just part of the "Chemo Brain" they say that it should get better over time. As for the ringing in my ears it is a coin toss. Could be that the years of working with loud sirens has damaged the ears to some degree over my life and the chemo accelerated it. Time will tell.
For those who may end up with this "Tinnitus" one thing that has made a difference is to never be quiet. I know it sounds odd to say, but the SILENCE IS DEAFENING! So keep noise around you, I have found that at night keeping a sound machine on has helped with sleeping. The audiologist said to keep changing it up. Do not use the same noise setting for too long or your brain will get conditioned to it and it stops working. Also remember to not focus on it, forget it and act like it is not there and you will tune it out.
The other parts of my "Chemo Brain" are improving. I can find that I can remember more and more. It is funny to think about, when you do chemo it is like someone flipped the switch. It was there and then it was not. That goes for about anything, your hair, your hearing, your taste, your smell, your sensation etc. Coming back however is different it takes time and it is incremental. I think it is a little reminder to keep things in perspective. I have not shaved in a good 6 weeks or better. I love my soft smooth skin, if you don't remember what it is like to have silky smooth skin I apologize. The last couple of days I have started to notice that my facial hair is growing back and that I have patches of hair growing back on my head. So I feel confident that by Christmas we will have a good hairstyle to sport.
Back to talking about Celebrations. Cancer brings a whole new level of Celebrating. The first big celebration is the day you complete your treatment. It signals a milestone that you are one step closer to the rest of the journey. One common celebratory tradition is the ringing of a bell. You can find different explanations that talk through why the bell became the tradition. My favorite explanation is the reference to being in the ring fighting. The rounds start and end with the ringing of the bell. The winner is announced with the ringing of a bell. I have said it before that the Wallace Cancer Institute a department of Novant Rowan, does NOT have a bell for patients to ring. I still plan to fix this. I am going to do all I can even raise the money for a bell. It is the right thing to do.
I was at my Aunt Karen's house with her family and made the comment that I would celebrate finishing Chemo with the acquiring of a four legged friend. I even told my friend Amanda and her family. There are lots of friends who need homes and I have never been someone who believes in paying for dogs. I have always wanted to have a Doodle of some kind. But I never wanted to pay for one. I had resolved that coming the beginning of the year I would get one and I would take a lab bread from the pound. Well because good things do happen to good people I was blessed to get what I have wanted.
Meet BELLA
Since there was no bell to ring her name is fitting. She is part of my celebratory gift to myself. I could not be more happy or grateful for all she has brought to my home. She is mild mannered, well behaved and a great cuddler. I owe the biggest thanks to my cousin's wife Carrie for being on her A game. She called two weeks ago and asked, remember saying you were going to celebrate with a dog? Did you still want a Goldendoodle? I said yeah that is part of the plan, she followed with so what are you doing this evening? Blood counts good enough to be out and about? I said sure why what is up. A prior co-worker of hers needed to rehome "MIA". And it all worked out. She has quickly adapted to her new home and her new name. She is not quite a year old so we still have some puppy left in her. But she is the best.
She definitely brings Joy to my Journey. One of my favorite things that Terah gave me was a tile that has the quote "Find Joy in the Journey". She found the Joy in every situation and I am grateful for that example. I love the tender mercy's in life that remind me of her example and of the love she showed.
Each of us have moments in our life that are worth Celebrating. Take the time to Celebrate and to find the Joy in the Journey. It is only forward from here. Do not take the small things for granted. If you want to do something go for it. Live life!!
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