Cancer Ain't Cheep

Let's talk about the name of the blog today.  There is a lot going on with the progress of treatment and everything leading up to it but I think it is fair to talk about where "The Money Medic" comes from.  

I am a Paramedic by trade, you already know that, but I also have a passion for Accounting and Finance, so put it all together and there you go.  

I grew up poor, and I knew it because I was reminded often that we were poor.  Everyone's definition of poor is different.  Now we had Food, Water and Shelter.  So our basic needs were met.  I can remember back to school meant new Jeans and New Shoes.  It was my favorite time of the year.  I got to spend most of the day with my Grandmother, who I love more than anything.  We would spend the whole day driving over Rowan County looking for the perfect pair of shoes.  I knew I only got one pair a year and I could not wait to show them off on the first day of school.  

We would go to the Mall and to other shoe stores across town and spend all day trying on shoes and trying to find the right pair.  Most often we would go to the Show Show and I would find the pair I wanted, but I could never just make my decision that easily.  So we would go to Pay Less and Hibbett Sport.  Honestly I think my whole hold up was I never wanted to spend that much money on them.  I knew that money didn't come easy and I was not accustomed to someone spending $50 on me.  So I would keep looking for a better deal.  And the affection and love of being willing to drive all over town to end where we started was just the best.  It was a happy time for me and I loved it.  We even got to go to Chic-Fil-A for a chicken sandwich, and that was a real treat for me.  At some point during the day we would go to Belk's or JC Pennys and buy we a pair of Levi's, Husky to be exact.  I wish life were that simple now.  

One thing that my Grandmother taught me was to always be frugal with your money.  And to always pay yourself.  I have continued to live by this.  Except for about 5 years as I started college I have been very financially responsible.  I have always paid myself each paycheck and can only remember a couple points in life where I has stress waiting for the next paycheck.  I don't say all of this to brag or to boast but to highlight that the saying I heard my entire childhood is 100% accurate.  It is not about how much money you make it is about how much you spend.  Money never bought happiness and is a valuable resource that you have to be responsible with.  

So let's face it Cancer isn't cheep.  It comes with a lot of expense.  I have been to a doctor weekly, even twice a week since mid-July.  I have had Ultrasounds, Labs, Medications, CT Scans, X-Rays, Surgery, MRIs, PFTs, A PICC, Fertility Clinic Visits, and soon to be Chemo.  This all will be followed by Quarterly Doctor's Visits, Labs and Bi-Annual CT Scans to ensure that this does not come back and try to kill me.  So for the next 5 years healthcare is going to be a massive expense in my life.  

I am blessed that I have a wonderful employer with a wonderful benefits package. It is not lost with me how much of a blessing that is.  This limits my annual expense for Healthcare at $4,000 a year, of which I will get to spend each year at minimum.  I could not imagine where I would be without this blessing.  That being said I do believe that everyone should have access to quality affordable health plans.  I feel that everyone should have to pay for health insurance to their ability.  Growing up the way I did, I quickly have learned how having bought something for myself I treat it differently.  When something is just given to me I tend to not have the same respect for it as if I purchased it.  So the same goes for healthcare, if everyone pays in we will respect it better.  My belief is that is only needs to be affordable.  The level of affordability varies by person to person.  

In addition to the expense of it all there is the lost incomes that will and have already occured.  I will end up losing about 1 paycheck this year from my Full Time employer and 50% of the income I generally get from my Part Time job as a Paramedic.  So the income is affected and the expenses increase.  

I believe that too many people think it will never happen to me so I don't need to worry.  Well folks I never thought I would have Cancer.  Now, I am additionally blessed that this Cancer is highly curable and my prognosis is positive and well.  I have such a small chance of things not working out that my risk of other forms of disease are higher.  At least this is how I am choosing to view it.  So we can not go through life with the worry of what it, but we should have a game plan for the what ifs.  

I am a huge fan of Dave Ramsey.  The principles that he shares with others are solid financial principles and can eliminate a lot of stress from life.  Because I made the conscious decision to live like no one else now, I can live like no one else now.  With everything going on in my life I have not had to worry about missing work and losing my income.  This again has nothing to do with how much money you make, but how much you spend.  I made a very hard decision to create enough savings for myself to be able to withstand 3 months of loss incomes.  This took me YEARS to accomplish.  It started with getting out of debt which in itself changes EVERYTHING.  When you do not have the burden of paying others for things, saving for the raining day is easy.  Grandma always said "if you can not pay for it you do not need it."  And it is so true.    

So I kept my debt low and worked hard to get rid of it.  This was possible by living on a budget and living within my means.  I put every dollar to work and kept my eye on the finish line.  I found a buddy who was going through the same process and made it a competition.  I have always wanted to have a bigger nicer house, but I do not need it so I keep what I have.  Needs and wants are different and the sooner we can recognize them the better off we will be.  

We never know what is around the corner, and let's face it 2020 is a dumpster fire so who knows what will happen this month.  Whatever it will be, will be just that.  We will have little ability to change it.  But what we know is that we can prepare for it.  Because I have prepared for this I do not have the added pressure or stress of how to pay for this. 

I encourage anyone who is wanting to gain more wealth and might be struggling I am happy to take the time to walk you through the process I did to get where I am at.  It is hard work and take a lot of dedication and focus.  

I have thought through this process that I think I want to do something to give back to others who are going through this.  I am going to pay close attention to the organizations who are helping me throughout this journey and ask my friends to come together to make a donation to them in my honor.  So do not be surprised when I make the request.  

Tomorrow is a BIG day for me, I have test most of the day and get the PICC line placed, which I am not looking forward to but I will soon be grateful for.  A PICC is a Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter for those of you wondering.   

The Magic Cocktail

I got the opportunity today to talk to someone else in the area who has been through this.  It was an okay conversation, not what I wanted to hear but it was what it was.  He had a similar almost exact diagnosis as I did.  His was 7 years ago.  He opted to have the surgery as a preventative measure, which no one has really recommended for me.  He also did not have positive tumor markers and a clean CT, but when they did the surgery they found the cancer had already spread.  It is a fairly aggressive surgery in my book and really do not want to do it unless it is necessary.  Anyway he said the Chemo was rough and he would rather go through the surgery again that do the chemo.  NOT what I wanted to hear but everyone is different.  What I have learned is how rare it is.  The Urological Oncologist Navigator said it is hard to find others to talk to because it really doesn't happen that much. Go figure.  

So what is the plan?  I will go Monday - Friday of next week for 5 - 8 hours per day.  I will be getting three total drugs.  I then go back the following 2 Mondays for just the bleomycin. 

BEP is used to treat testicular cancer and a rare type of ovarian cancer called a germ cell tumour. It is best to read this information with our general information about chemotherapy and the type of cancer you have.

Your doctor will talk to you about this treatment and its possible side effects before you agree (consent) to have treatment. 

BEP comes from the initials of the drugs used:

• B – bleomycin
• E – etoposide
• P – cisplatin (platinum)

I am ready to get er done!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Support Changs your Perspective

 This time next week I will have successfully completed Day 1 of the 21 days of treatment.  I don't know there are word to express how I am feeling or tolerating any of this.  I am not looking forward to it to say the least, but all I can do it just show up and get it done!!

I think that the hardest part of all of this is the complexity because of COVID-19.  This prevents anyone from being with me during treatment, not even 1 person.  I basically have to be driven and dropped off at the Cancer Institute for 6-8 each day for 5 days.  and then again each of the next 2 Mondays.  So I have to not only go through all of this, but I have to go through it alone.  I am limited to 1 person living with me and limited transportation options.  

So far everyone has been supper supportive and want to help.  They want to help me with rides to and from, to sit with me during treatment and to help bring me meals etc.  I am not sure what all that is going to look like in the coming weeks and I really should get a game plan together.  I think that the hardest part is knowing that I want people to support me and I want to feel their love and positivity and it is going to be harder for that to happen now.  

I was surprised today when I got two packages in the mail.  Both were from a company #RockTheTreatment.  It is a company that is designed to create gift boxes for Cancer patients.  I could not help but get emotional when they arrived today.  Each box is full of the things that I know I will be needing over the next month.  Things I needed to get out and purchase and had not yet done.  

One of the boxes is from a Friend Jennifer who I meet through @Colleensdream.  Colleen's Dream is a non-profit located in Phoenix Arizona who raise money for Ovarian Cancer Research.  Terah had Ovarian Cancer and they were amazing towards her and supported her in so many ways.  Each year they host a Gala as their large fundraiser.  I have so much to say about those experiences and will at some point.  Jennifer was always at our table.  Each year she and a friend would come and we got to share the evening with them.  We have always kept in touch and I could not be more grateful that she thought enough to send me this gift.  

The other box came from four co-workers.  Amy, Nina, Jackie, and Will.  I should craft a creative name for this group as they always are there as my cheerleaders.  Amy is our boss and is amazing to work with.  She is the kinda boss who just wants to get the job done.  She gives the feedback you need and support you want.  Nina and I have similar roles, she lives in Atlanta and runs a large book of business.  She is also the one who volunteered to sit with me in the Emergency Room most of the night and pick me up and return me to the airport when I got sick in Atlanta.  She always has my back and I have enjoyed her friendship.  Jackie is in Human Resources, Caw Caw, (a joke she will appreciate if she reads this).  I have enjoyed having her on the team and she does an amazing job.  She does the job most of us would never want to do and she does it well.  Will, he is our Corporate Council, and a solid friend.  He has so much going on in his life, and he is always making sure I am doing well.  He always tells me to "hang in there buddy".

Support is important through this journey.  We are not designed to do this all alone.  I am confident that I will feel more and more love and support in the days and weeks to come.  I will thrive on this.  So for those of you who are worried about calling or texting, DON'T.  I want to hear from others and I need the encouragement and the motivation.  I need all the positive vibes I can get.  And I promise, as soon as I am over this and we can party that is exactly what we are going to do!  

So when someone ask what they can do, I say all you can do!  Send me positive comments, positive thoughts and vibes.  Listen to me cry, complain and vent.  Think of me, and let me know it.  I get a message at least once a day from a friend saying that they are thinking about me.  I love those, it is always a different person and it makes my day.   

I know all of you are creative and I know you would all pile in that room with me each day till this is over if they would let you.  And I know you will find a way to support me and show your love.  I love the humor and the witty comments so do not worry about them offending me, go for it.  Permission Granted.  

Getting to Day 1

I thought a good deal on just the title of this post.  My intentions were to speak more about the journey to today and what it is like to prepare for Chemo.  But the more I ponder it the more I think what is Day 1?  Life is full of Day Number 1s.  The last couple of weeks there have been lots of Day 1s for Children, Students, Parents, Teachers, Drivers, the list can go on.  So is my Day Number 1 in this journey July 15th?  The day we found the Tumor?  Or is it the day the first Cell grew?  Is it last August when we had the first Ultrasound or last June when I first started noticing pain?  

I think I have concluded the more I think about it today is Day 1.  Today is the Day 1, it is our first day, it is what we make of it.  So for me I am going to view this next step as part of the journey and that journey will have 21 days of treatment and some recovery.  It is important to stay focused and to stay positive on every journey. 

I also have worried about posting my thoughts and opinions, in today's world our ability to express our thoughts and opinions is not a good thing.  People only want to hear them if they match or do not challenge their own thoughts and opinions.  We have lost our ability to have healthy open dialogue in this country.  

July 15th was a regular day for me, during my Ultrasound I kept thinking she must be new she is taking her time.  I finally asked so "how long have you been doing this?"  She said about 25 years.  I thought well that is not good, but I never really thought too much into it.  She also printed a picture, which has never been done before.  Again did not think too much about it.  Even when she left for me to get dressed I could not see anything on the picture.  

As I left I said well I guess someone will call me later this week with the results?  She responded, no someone will call you today.  Again I did not think anything about it.  I got busy with work and at some point my Primary Care Provider called and left a voicemail.  I didn't even notice the message till after 5 pm.  And after I listened to it, I thought, dang they are closed, now I am going to have to wait till tomorrow to find out what is so important.  However the tender mercy was that my PCP called me about 10 minutes later to share the news.  

From this point forward things have gone quick and slow.  Life has changed, my perspective has changed.  I initially was in denial and didn't put much focus on the significance of all of this.  I even turned down the first available follow up appointment for work.  The next day the reality of it all began to set in and I called and tried to get that appointment back.  It was no longer available so I found another provider who could make that dates work and we moved forward.  

A lot has gone into getting to this point, and there is still a long way to go to get to Day 1 of recovery, remission and the new me.  So till Day 1 stay positive.  

The Highlight Reel Leading Up To Today

 So many of you have asked how did I get here?  I somehow hope that one day this information is helpful to someone else who is starting to navigate this path.  It is going to be different for everyone and it is important to remember that the most important takeaway is to always know your body and to pay attention to it.  

Before I begin with the details I feel that it is important to say as someone who is in healthcare that just because you have pain in your testicles you do not necessarily have cancer.  In fact generally speaking testicular cancer is painless.  I can not help but think back to the Ebola outbreak, or the Bird Flu episode, or even just a salmonella outbreak and the influx of patients that would flock to the ED because they too had convinced themselves they had the very condition, virus or disease on the 5 o'clock news.  See our brains are powerful and we can certainly convince ourselves of just about anything.  

That being said it is more important to know your body.  To listen to it and to pay attention, it will tell you when something is wrong or not just right.  I for one consider myself in tune with my body and pay attention to it.  I will even go as far as to say that to some extent hypersensitive at times.  

Before I begin I have provided the information from the Testicular Cancer Society's website on Signs and Symptoms of Testicular Cancer, because as you read about my experience you will find little to do with these. 

Signs & symptoms

• Any enlargement of a testicle
• A significant loss of size in one of the testicles
• A feeling of heaviness in the scrotum
• A dull ache in the lower abdomen, back or in the groin
• A sudden collection of fluid in the scrotum
• Pain or discomfort in a testicle or in the scrotum
• Enlargement or tenderness of the breasts
• Low back pain, from cancer spread to the lymph nodes (bean-sized collections of immune cells) in back of the belly.
• Shortness of breath, chest pain, or a cough (even coughing up blood) may develop from cancer spread in the lungs.
• Belly pain, either from enlarged lymph nodes or because the cancer has spread to the liver.
• Headaches or confusion, from cancer spread in the brain.

Men themselves, not doctors, find most testicular cancers as a painless lump or an enlargement or hardening of the testicle, this is why regular self-exams are so important. If you do notice any lumps or changes it is important to see a doctor immediately. Many men with testicular cancer do not feel ill and many times there is no pain involved.

The above was referenced from https://testicularcancersociety.org/pages/about-tc 

So let us rewind back to the Summer of 2019.  Life was normal, we went outside, took trips, gathered in large groups.  We went places, people were not scared to hug or be close to each other.  Those were the good ol' days.  I remembered that I had tenderness in my testicles, mainly the right, but it was fairly diffuse and uncomfortable.  It was not something that made you double over or even want to take something for.  It just was there and I can remember thinking UGH.  After about two days I decided to go to the doctor and make sure things were okay.  Years earlier I had a similar episode and it was determined to be a hydrocele and something that could flair up from time to time but nothing to worry about.  

The doctor said it could be a small infection and gave me an antibiotic and sent me on my way.  Sure enough in a couple days discomfort was gone and things were back to normal.  Then about 6 weeks later it was back.  So I returned to the doctor on the second day this time.  He said we should try a different antibiotic and we will do an ultrasound just to make sure it is not something else.  

While we are on the topic let us talk about the ultrasound experience.  Let me first say that it is not a bad experience.  I have had young women both times and it was more awkward than anything else.  But nothing to be worried about. 

At that time the results of the ultrasound reviled Testicular microlithiasis (tes-TIK-yoo-lur my-kroh-lih-THIE-uh-sis).  It is an uncommon condition — diagnosed during a testicular ultrasound — in which small clusters of calcium form in the testicles. A number of studies show a relationship between testicular microlithiasis and testicular cancer.  At that time I was referred to urology.  Who said there was nothing to worry about and nothing else to do but to just keep an eye on it.  His recommendation was to repeat the ultrasound in 1 years time and to see if there were any changes. 

Fast forward to June 2020.  On the top of 2020, what a dumpster fire, this whole year has been the worst.  I am sure that it could be worse, and generations before us lived through a different 2020.  This CAN be worse and I am looking forward to normalcy in the world again.  I am afraid that we are not going to see normalcy for a while.  So for now we have to live with the mindset that this is as good as it gets.  

Another interesting fact about June, I generally always get my bad news in June.  It is the month of my birth which is GOOD news, but I also found out I needed my gall bladder removed in June.  Was a few days shy of June when I was admitted to the hospital for the first time in my life.  When I first had the discomfort that lead to the Ultrasound and here again the start of another chapter in my life. 

So in June here we go again with the discomfort.  Thinking again more epididymitis, but still never ignoring the signals my body was sending me.  Doctor said well let's try some more cipro and were approaching the year mark so we can do that Ultra Sound too.  I waited a month for the Ultra Sound just to get closer to the year mark.  So on the 15th of July I arrived at the Imaging Center and received that annual ultrasound.   

Till tomorrow ... 

#FoulBall

#Foulball 

Well folks the bad news is I have Cancer.  The good news it we caught it early.  It is manageable and some even say curable.  

The short story is that Lefty decided to try and kill me so I had him evicted.  I am incredibly lucky, blessed and fortunate.  We caught this so early.  My tumor was only 5MM, for us Americans that is about 1/4 of an inch.  

Testicular Cancer is one of the better forms of Cancer to have because it has such a high rate of survivability.  Like most cancer the earlier you catch it, the better off you are.  I had quoting numbers because I think that it is all relative and each person is different.  

So here is the 101 

ONE GUY
EVERY HOUR
EVERY DAY

is Diagnosed with Testicular Cancer 

But the overall survival rate is 95% and increases to 99% if caught early.  That means

One Guy

Every Day 

Dies from Testicular cancer

While rare, testicular cancer is the most common form of cancer in men between the ages of 15 and 35. It is a highly treatable cancer especially if caught and treated early. With early detection treatments are more effective and often less aggressive than when the cancer is detected in the later stages. Treatment options include surgery, radiation therapy, and/or chemotherapy and depend on the type and stage of the cancer.

Testicular Cancer is broken down into two classifications Seminoma and Non-Seminoma.  Seminoma is the most common form I am told.  

So I have Non Seminoma Stage 1 Embryonal Carcinoma with Lymphovascular Invasion.  This type only accounts for 4% of this rate cancer to being with.  But for those of you who know me, it is never simple with me.  You can google it and find out all the horrible things about it and then you will find out how lucky I am that I am Stage 1.  That being said I am considered High Risk because I get to check all the risk boxes for reoccurrence which is not positive.  What is positive is that with treatment I can reduce my risk of reoccurrence from 50% to less than 5%.  I will be keeping a close eye on this so I am counting on being in that 95% category. 

Here I am

 I have always wanted to start a blog and share my thoughts with the world.  But my thoughts don't always mesh with the world.  And let's face it, my strong suit is math and science so literature and the written word will get a lot of feedback.  So bring it on!   

Here is my Full Disclosure, this is intended to be an opportunity for me to express my thoughts and share my experiences with the world.  I am not looking for others to agree to disagree, I try to keep an open mind and always encourage others to express themselves equally.  So HERE I AM.  We will see how well I keep up with this.  I am starting this now because the past month has been a real kick in the balls.  If in 100 years someone finds this post in their version of the internet or whatever 2020 has SUCKED all around.  

Let us start with who am I? 

I am a Child of God

First and foremost I believe that I am a Child of God.  That he loves me, that he has sent me here to Earth to help me grow, to show me how strong I am.  I believe that we are all Sons and Daughters of a Loving Heavenly Father.  Regardless of the struggles or challenges we have in life that principle is fundamental in my thinking.  With that I believe that we all have a different relationship with our Heavenly Father, that we will all call him by a different name, worship him differently and communicate with him differently.   

I am a Giver

I currently work in Healthcare, I have always been drawn to helping others, to serving others and believe in giving back.  We never know how far Charity will take each of us.  If we are nice to others we never know the outcome.  Now in life I am also sometimes called the Disagreeable Giver.  What is that you would ask.  Well I enjoy Ted Talks, and you can look up the Ted Talk by Adam Grant.  I will try to post it here, I am still new to all this Blogging process so I don't know if that is allowable but I will give it a try.  This statement is from Adam Grant and can be found in his book Give and Take: 

“Disagreeable givers are the most undervalued people in our organizations, because they’re the ones who give the critical feedback that no one wants to hear but everyone needs to hear,” - Adam Grant Give and Take 

So I am the one that always says what others are thinking and never want to say it.  And then I do what is required.  I will share my thoughts and then get to work doing whatever I need to do.  

I am a Brother 

I am the oldest between myself and my Sister.  I have not had any communication with her for more than 10 or 12 years now.  That is her decision and not mine.  I love her just the same today as I did when we grew up.  Additionally my Father passed away in 2005 and I still feel that this took away from my life experiences to some degree.  But life happens, we are all on different journeys and we all have different challenges and outcomes in life. 

I am a Paramedic 

I am the one who always keeps calm in the mist of chaos and does well under pressure.  With that comes also my comfort in being in control or in charge, the one who people look to when things are going bad.  It also goes back to my love for helping others.  Being a Paramedic has taught me a couple of things:

1) Life can be cruel, unfair and bad things happen to good people. 

2) The human body can withstand a lot and things aways work out in the end.

3) Even if you are in control, we are NEVER in control. 

4) Do your best ALWAYS.  And remember that sometimes your best WONT be good enough. 

5) There is plenty of evil in the world. 

Even with all the things I experience, have experienced and will yet to experience, it is always worth it.  

A Cancer Patient, Fighter and Surviver 

This is the motivation for posting the blog.  I want to be able to document my experiences and share them with others.  Through this experience I have found that there is not a lot of support or information out there for people in my seat.  Thats good and bad all at the same time I guess.  But it has now become a part of who I a