The Good Ol' Days

 The weekend has not been terrible.  The fatigue continues to be the second largest struggle that I have.  I did finally sleep about 6 hours last night and that was pure joy.  

Many whom have called and texted have asked about the hair, my response is that it is 90% gone.  I will be getting what is left shaved off.  They all ask how I look and I just laugh and say that at this point people are going to start sending me 19 cents a day, and that the ringing in my ears has been replaced by a Sarah McLachlan loop.  

A true friend of mine who I will call Lieutenant aka Tiny T, to protect the innocent, called on his way to work and we chatted.  He and I worked together for years and I really do miss working with him.  He is smart and more importantly I love his sense of humor.  Being in Emergency Services is not always rainbows and unicorns.  We are faced with a lot of negative energy and often spend the worst moments of someone's life with them and their families.  This wears on your person, on your soul.  Having people like T with you always made the job a little better.  Not just because it was nice to work with another competent person, but because he showed compassion and courage and when it was all said and done would laugh with you and sometimes at you.  People, it is not about being insensitive or having a lack of compassion and not that we don't care about those we take care of or the job we perform.  But it can be tough, rough and full of all kinds of bad stuff.  We COPE, so that we can be the best we can be when patients and families need us to be.  Humor is how he and I cope with this job.  So as you continue reading you HAVE TO remember that this is how we cope.  If you don't like witty or dark humor turn the channel now.  

I tried to find a picture of us working together but the only picture I had in my phone was this one.  He worked his way up to Lieutenant, and spent more time in the office as a result.  

I think some of my most memorable moments with him were early morning or late night.  In my most memorable moment with him we were both tired, it had been a busy 24 hours, it was dark outside, we were almost done without shift and we were on our way to one of those calls those of us in EMS are all too familiar with.  The ones were an ambulance is clearly not needed and in this situation I am not too sure that a Medical Professional was even indicated.  But those of you not familiar with the process, you dial 911 and ask for an Ambulance, the 911 dispatcher is like the Genie in Aladdin.  Your wish is their command.  And yes people with multiple modes of immediate transportation will wait 30 minutes on an ambulance to drive them 10 minutes to the hospital.  

And let me tell you there are a lot of people who call 911 for a lot of reasons that really did not need to.  So here Lieutenant aka Tiny T and I go off to save the day once again.  And for those who do not know me, when I am tired a different form of me comes out.  I lose what little patience I had and I can get crazy.  

So the insomnia for the past week has been a real hay day.  Good thing I have been quarantined for this week.  

I had fully intended on sharing with you some of the stories from our shifts together, but have refrained after writing them out.  I don't think they will pass the politically correct test and in the United States of the Offended someone would get upset.  So to summarize there was a lack of sleep, coffee, house numbers a lot of neon children with flags.  He will remember and is laughing as he reads this. 

I have been in EMS since August of 2002.  Since then I have experienced a lot in my life.  There have been few dull moments.  I have been scared, laughed, and even cried.  

• My first shift ever scared me to death and I said I was never going back.  Yet I have still showed up for 18+ years. 
• I have see more of the human body with my naked eye that most will in their lifetime. 
• I have been covered in more bodily fluids than I care to have been. 
• It has been a bad call when the vomit hits the back of the doors when your partner slams on the brakes. 
• All bleeding stop, eventually. 
• Always put something white on the red and hold tight. 
• A microwave will create warm IV Fluids. 
• Macgyver has nothing on my resourcefulness.  I can do a lot with nothing to pull from. 
• I learned that Tire Pressure is the most important part of the truck check off. 
• You can't fix stupid, and if you look around the room they are in good company.  
• People will stick anything into just about anything and then create the most elaborate story when things go wrong.  
• Sometimes not laughing is the hardest thing I do. 
• You can't make this stuff up, and we have all written a book about it. And you ain't going to believe this starts or ends every shift. 
• I have gained a family that is like no other. 
• I have made friends and enemies.
• I have had to get a new duty belt on more than one occasion. And I don't foresee me getting back into my first uniform. 
• I have helped people come into this world and unfortunately been with more as they have exited.   
• I have learned to view death in a different light than most will ever understand. 
• I have made people laugh, mostly at me, but sometimes with me.  
• I have cried with a family members. 
• I have been a social worker, a resource giver and an ear to listen.  
• I have lost friends. 
• I have met the evil in the world head on. 
• I have pulled a "Reid".
• I have learned that anyone born in the 2000's CAN'T read a map and are directionally challenged. 
• I have accepted that my best on most days is not good enough, that we are not the ones in control. When your number is up, your number is up. 
• Success is not completely defined by achieving the desired outcome.  Success is knowing you did your best.  
• I have learned to be a better person, a better me.  This job has forever made me who I am today.  
• I became the "Old Timer" and talked about the "Good Days" on shift at 30 years old.  
• I have learned that I do it for the love of my community, for the people.  It is not for the fame and I promise you it is not for the money.  

Overall my life has been what I have allowed it to be. What I have wanted it to be.  We really only ever have control over ourselves, and I am a firm believe that if you want something in life you have to work hard for it and the sky's the limit.  You can be what you want to be and go where you want to go.  You are your only limiting factor.  We can say that our environments or socioeconomic variables limit us, but they only challenge us to work harder and to be better.  No one ever said it was easy.  Attitude and perception lead the way, so focus on the positive and do it.   And thanks Chris for all the good and not so good memories and for giving me the ability to Laugh Out Loud at random.