Check up from the Neck Up !!

I think that today has been one of the harder emotional days.  I continue to have fatigue and insomnia combined with the hearing issues.  But today I noticed my hair started falling out around 10 am.  I have been so upset about it.  I know it is just hair and it really isn't that big of a deal, but it is a big deal.  

I think that I mentioned in the past that I use to tell Terah it was just hair and not to worry about it.   No one cares.  Well I can hear here in my head going "It is just hair nick a lause".  It is just hair.  Nick A Lause is how Siri says my name and so her family loves to call me that and I love that they do.  

I know I mentioned in an earlier post that I think the biggest reason it is hard to lose your hair is not the loss of the hair itself, but what it means or symbolizes.  It makes it all official in a sense.  So that is what I wanna talk about tonight.  I will get you a picture once I build up the courage to take one.  

It is more than hair.  Now when I look at the man in the mirror I see a cancer patient.  I see someone who has been through a lot in the last month and someone who can no longer hide behind the smile.  But let's be honest, who do we really see when we look in the mirror?  I can physically see this man that look weathered and worn.  But that is just the physician characteristics that I see.  We really see much more than that.  

So I decided it is time for a check up from the neck up.  Who do we really see??  What do we hope to see?  Are we looking at the person we want to be in life?  Have we met our goals?  Have you loved yourself enough?  Do we love who we see?  Are we the best person we can be?  It is more than just the physical appearance it is the person as a whole.  

So who do I see?  Well I see a Cancer Warrior, a Fighter, a Successful Professional, a Paramedic, someone to love.  I see all the things I have been through and all the things that are yet to come.  I see me and I like what I see.  I might not be attractive and look like a sick person, but I am much more than that guy.  He is just occupying my mirror for the month.  He will get the eviction notice soon enough.  But for now he is me, he is the best me and he is the proud me.  He did it!  

So the next time you look in the mirror think about who you really see and if you don't like them, change them!!  They will follow your lead!!