Catching up

It has been a couple of days since I have taken the chance to come here and update you on where we are at.  So I will try to cover the past 3 days. 

Overall we have finished the heavy stuff as it relates to the actual infusions.  What I have learned is that the effects come later.  So your body processes the chemo after the fact.  So each day seems to be a little worse and then a little better even given I am not getting the treatments daily.  

I now fully understand what people mean when they say it is hard to explain how you feel.  It is the oddest feeling I think I have ever experienced.  I know I have said it several times but your body is no longer your body.  Your skin does not feel like your skin, and your hands are there but they are not your own.  We will see how that changes over time.  

Saturday:

Not a bad day overall, I got up and ate and kinda felt mildly normal.  I slept for a while and I overall think that the fatigue was the hardest part.  Before leaving on Friday I got another dose of Emend and Aloxy which are long acting anti-emetics.  So I took the Zofran as if I needed it just to be safe.  

Sunday:

A strong tie for the worst day by far.  I woke up and was like man I am normal today.  I was in the mood for a pancake and tried to add some eggs.  I was able to eat both the Pancakes and the Eggs.  Overall eating is a task.  Nothing taste good.  Nothing sounds good and I can promise you that NOTHING smells good.  I feel like Pepe Le Pew and I can not get away from myself.  Once I start eating I just keep going till I feel like I have eaten what a normal adult should eat.  

So I cooked and ate breakfast and then the brick wall hit me.  Apparently I used all the energy allowed for a day in that 30 minutes.  I rapidly went down hill and could not seem to climb back out.  I felt horrible to say the least.  For some reason I keep thinking back to a radio show when people ask how are you feeling today.  My mind goes back to a radio show that my dad and I use to listen to when I was younger called "John Boy and Billy".  There was a particular segment they would do where they would act out calling and talking with a guy on random topics.  They would call him and say "How are you doin'" and he would always say "NAUGHT TOO GUD" in a very redneck way.  So when people say how are you feeling I think NOT TOO GOOD.  

I am more than grateful that this is a "One and Done" approach to treatment.  This means that we push through this treatment regimen and we should be done.  Statistically speaking the odds are high remember.  The alternative is a 3 Cycle Course which I am not sure how people get through that.  I think we all go through things differently and we process or handle things differently.  So this is my journey and I push hard.  There are plenty of others who have a much harder journey in the Chemo treatment.  I am grateful that this is something that overall I have been able to manage.  

So back to Sunday, I slept for most of the day, my symptoms were just general fatigue, nausea in waves, but the worst part was the tachycardia and the funny feeling in my chest.  The feeling felt very cardiac in nature to me.  And the feeling was certainly positional.  I found that if I could lay on my back I did the best with it.  Moving to my side seemed to aggravate it more and cause even more unrest in my chest.  

If it would not have been for COVID Exposure risk I think I would have gone to the ED.  But I remained afebrile and tried to hydrate as much as I could.  I drake as much as I could.  I am confident that I got a solid 70 oz in.  But apparently I could not keep up with the Lower GI Shuffle that plagues me daily. 

This pretty much sums up that debacle:

Sunday night I did not sleep that well.  My chest continues to do the tachycardia and I think my fear of what was going on added some anxiety to the mix.  

Monday: 
So we're back for Day 8 Dose 6.  I literally felt like a warm body with a pulse.  Just not my body.  The amount of energy that it took to get ready and to get to the Cancer Institute was way more than my body had.  Just going from the bed to the bathroom took all the energy I had.  The Nurse Practitioner was quick to come see me once I got there.  They only gave me a litter of fluid over the morning, which I would have settled for two or more.  I was not creating urine so we know I am dry dry dry.  Even given all the fluids I drank on Sunday I clearly was dry.  I looked so bad, and not like myself.  I was pale and mottled to some extent.   I would get tachy just walking and then get hot and diaphoretic.  Down 10 pounds overall.  

Nothing stops Chemo.  Even given the poor physical health I was in, we still get Chemo.  It sounds or rather feels counterintuitive to beat up a sick person, but the data shows that pushing through is the best and only real option that you have.  The Bleomycin is hard on the lungs and can cause a Pulmonary Embolism, or a blood clot in the lungs.  So that was their primary concern for me.  So I had to have a CT Angiogram.  

Okay a little point of disappointment, so for whatever reason, Novant Health didn't get the CT Scanner set up at the Cancer Institute.  I still have not figured that out, so it took a little coordination to go to the Hospital and have the CT done there.  A total hassle and wore me out.  Not patient centric for sure.  

At the end of the day we are where we anticipate me to be.  Labs are all over the place and the only one to note is a Sodium of 131.  And I don't have a blood clot,  I spent most of the rest of the day sleeping, and trying to stay hydrated.  

Chemo tip: Invest in plastic utensils.  And buy foods NOT in metal cans.  Plastic is key in this case.  You will taste every metallic taste possible and having things in plastic containers and to eat with makes it more manageable.