Positivity goes a LONG way everyone keeps saying. I got to do my Chemo Teach today at the Wallace Cancer Institute a part of Novant Health Rowan. And yes they answer the phone that way every time. I find it humorous.
Well I have to say that the experience today learning about the Toxins they will put into my body was overall positive. Learning of all the risk sucked. There are plenty of risk and unintended consequences. But you have to just do it and push through it. The risk were scary and not anything anyone wants to think through. By risk I mean the longer term effects of the Chemotherapy. But in life you just have to roll with the punches. I will stay positive, increase my faith and push through it.
But back to today and the experience of the Chemo Teach. The basic idea is that they Teach you all about the Chemo regimen to give you all the necessary details for you to consent to the treatment. It is a very informative and a detailed process. You spend about an hour with the Nurse Practitioner who tells you about the obvious facts, gives you the printed documents from Chemocare and then talk about what her experience as an Oncology NP has been and what she has seen in patients. I felt very positive as I went through it.
It should be noted that this practice has recently joined the Novant Health umbrella. Until about 3 weeks ago they were their own independent group. The Wallace Cancer Institute was only opened in Mid August so everything is still new and fresh and the latest and greatest. So if there was a good time to get cancer I would guess having a state of the art Cancer Institute is a good time.
I left feeling positive upbeat and ready to take on the process. But as I have processed the long term risk of the VP-16 I have been not so happy tonight. Kinda depressed over it all and second guessing my decision to go through with it. But at the end of the day were just rolling the dice, we roll the dice every morning we get up to some degree. With Cancer your risk are just more defined. Who sits around and thinks about the risk of a Stroke or a Heart Attack. Most people are not thinking about those risk the same way a Cancer patient things about their prognosis and associate risk. And I don't blame them it is TOO depressing.
While I was there I got my labs done in preparation for Monday. They got to use "Tommy" my PICC Line. My friend Amanda decided my PICC Line should be named Tommy, she got me a bag to carry back and forth to the Infusion Center that has Tommy on it, for Tommy Hilfiger. So we are calling him Tommy. So we put him to work today and he did his job. It was weird to have blood just pulled from a port on your arm. I guess until you experience it is hard to explain. Also the nurse thought it was cool to see the lipid in the blood, I was like UMMM no, time for a new diet so I am going to get on that.
I heard all day stay positive it will make all the difference, so I am doing my best to STAY POSITIVE. You can help me stay positive by keeping in contact and reaching out. Overall I am Positive most of the day, but there are times when it all hits you in a big wave of emotions. But remember I am going to be fine, this is just part of my journey and it WON'T end here. This form of Cancer is curable for the most part so my prognosis is Great! There are plenty of other people who don't have the same prognosis who are in a different boat than me. The journey however still sucks and I want every to know that we need to focus on what is really important in life and what matters. If nothing else this experience has put things into perspective for me. And folks there are SO MANY things that we give way too much credit to and worry about. Life is too short to get wrapped up in the little things.
That being said I imagined I would be married by now with Kids doing the carpool and "normal" parenting stuff. So need to move that up the priority list ASAP. I need to focus on that, I have realized that being single SUCKs even more when you have Cancer.
What did I learn today about the experience outside of the risk of the toxins?
1) I will be given a lot of steroids, so sleep is going to be hard. Decadron is the drug of choice.
2) I will be given a lot of fluid to protect my kidneys, so I will gain fluid weight and that is going to make me feel bad just carrying around the extra fluid.
3) I will get a TON of anti-nausea meds. They will make me constipated. Yeah! So I get to take a lot of stool softener.
4) Belo will affect my lungs
5) Cysplatinum will affect my kidneys
6) VP-16 is the bad drug were taking, will drop my white count, can make me anemic, will cause my hair to fall out and has the most long term risks.
7) Friday of next week is when I will start feeling the worst and that will carry on for about 5 days.
8) I am going to be at most risk of infection days 7 -14 so STAY AWAY! And try to stay out of the ED.
9) By day 21 I should start feeling normal again.
10) Humor and Positivity are my best friends, so bring it on!
I also learned that I can take someone with me to be in the infusion center each day. This is a new discovery for me today. So now I get to think through all of that. But for the rest of you, you can visit me through the front door or through the window at the infusion center. But in two days we will start and in 23 days we are done with the last infusion. So here we go!
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