Getting to Day 1

I thought a good deal on just the title of this post.  My intentions were to speak more about the journey to today and what it is like to prepare for Chemo.  But the more I ponder it the more I think what is Day 1?  Life is full of Day Number 1s.  The last couple of weeks there have been lots of Day 1s for Children, Students, Parents, Teachers, Drivers, the list can go on.  So is my Day Number 1 in this journey July 15th?  The day we found the Tumor?  Or is it the day the first Cell grew?  Is it last August when we had the first Ultrasound or last June when I first started noticing pain?  

I think I have concluded the more I think about it today is Day 1.  Today is the Day 1, it is our first day, it is what we make of it.  So for me I am going to view this next step as part of the journey and that journey will have 21 days of treatment and some recovery.  It is important to stay focused and to stay positive on every journey. 

I also have worried about posting my thoughts and opinions, in today's world our ability to express our thoughts and opinions is not a good thing.  People only want to hear them if they match or do not challenge their own thoughts and opinions.  We have lost our ability to have healthy open dialogue in this country.  

July 15th was a regular day for me, during my Ultrasound I kept thinking she must be new she is taking her time.  I finally asked so "how long have you been doing this?"  She said about 25 years.  I thought well that is not good, but I never really thought too much into it.  She also printed a picture, which has never been done before.  Again did not think too much about it.  Even when she left for me to get dressed I could not see anything on the picture.  

As I left I said well I guess someone will call me later this week with the results?  She responded, no someone will call you today.  Again I did not think anything about it.  I got busy with work and at some point my Primary Care Provider called and left a voicemail.  I didn't even notice the message till after 5 pm.  And after I listened to it, I thought, dang they are closed, now I am going to have to wait till tomorrow to find out what is so important.  However the tender mercy was that my PCP called me about 10 minutes later to share the news.  

From this point forward things have gone quick and slow.  Life has changed, my perspective has changed.  I initially was in denial and didn't put much focus on the significance of all of this.  I even turned down the first available follow up appointment for work.  The next day the reality of it all began to set in and I called and tried to get that appointment back.  It was no longer available so I found another provider who could make that dates work and we moved forward.  

A lot has gone into getting to this point, and there is still a long way to go to get to Day 1 of recovery, remission and the new me.  So till Day 1 stay positive.